I have 2 kids under the age of 2 and I’m going insane! – I must have said that phrase a dozen times today to just about anyone that will listen – my husband, the mailman, my son, even the door knob. And then I thought, hey, why not my blog, there must be some seasoned moms out there with a tip or two for me. Or least a mom or two that understands how I’m feeling.
I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, and just down right getting depressed over it. My schedule went out the window the day Emmaleigh was born and life hasn’t gotten much better since then. In fact, it’s gotten worse because back then at least she would sleep 18 hours a day giving me a mental break. Now I find myself in this endless circle of holding one, play with the other, changing countless diapers, and even avoiding family dinner time just to have a minute alone, followed by crying in my bubble bath to release the built up frustrations from the day. I highly recommend that crying part, it’s like a cleansing your body occasionally needs to go through to release all of the emotions you have all bottled up.
Fortunately, not everything about having two young children is that bad. There are days where I curl up in the rocker with both of them and just smell their sweet, freshly shampooed hair and grin from ear to ear. And last night when my toddler woke up sick she snuggled into bed next to me while I was breastfeeding the baby. As I laid there brushing my finger across her cheek and watching our youngest nourish her little body, the world around me stopped and I was the happiest I’ve ever felt. It’s those moments that keep me motivated to get out of bed the next day and start things all over again. I wouldn’t trade my life for anything in the world because of moments like those.
Now I sit here wondering what I can do to have more of those happy moments and look to the advice of moms that have been there. What tips do you have for me and other moms who are where I am now to make daily life more manageable?
Leave your tip in a comment and I’ll update the list as we go, to start here’s a few of my own:
- Prep meals for the week ahead of time. You can save yourself a lot of headaches and frustration by having lunches and dinners you can just heat up rather than cook from start to finish. It’s a major time saver that gives you more time to actually eat rather than be so exhausted from the prep work, cooking, and shielding kids from a hot stove.
- Get baby gates. We have one for the living room and it’s a life saver with keeping our kids corralled in place instead of having the toddler destroy my kitchen while I’m tied to the chair feeding the baby.
- Stuff the tub. If you have a decent sized bath tub, take a bath with them all at once. I save water, I’m not breaking my back bending over the edge, it’s just plain easier to hop in the tub and hold the baby while my toddler washes herself. Plus it’s kinda fun to act like a kid again with all of those bubbles and toys. Just make sure your husband is home to help you take each one out a time for drying and diapering.
- Showers. Take your shower while the eldest is napping, because you can put the youngest in a bouncy chair in the bathroom! From Marin at Musings of a Mommy Brain
- Crockpot. it’s a life savor, invest in 2 or 3 of those and a good crock pot recipe book! I prepare my meal late in the evening when toddler is in bed! From Renee at The Growing Stam Family
- Late Night Cleaning. I do a lot of cleaning at night, makes the next day easier! Make sure everything is organized and put away before you go to bed. Worst thing to wake up to is a messy kitchen, so make sure that it’s clean too! The next day you will just need to dust and vacuum. From Yasmine at Life and Everything in Between.
- Breastfeeding Entertainment. When you are going to feed the baby, try to get your 22 month old entertained with something before you start whether that be a snack, puzzle, an educational video like Signing Time, etc. I used to try and breastfeed the baby when my oldest was eating lunch so I was free when he was finished. I didn’t ignore him and I talked to him while he ate. From Emilie at Baby Loving Mama
- Small Stuff and Wine. The best advice I can give is don’t sweat the small stuff or even the not so small stuff. So what if the laundry is not done. So what if the dish pile is stacked high. Who cares if the floors haven’t been vacuumed. It’s not going anywhere. And a husbands help is a must! My husband often feeds the twins their meals when I’m just too pooped to do it. It may be dinosaur nuggets but they surely won’t complain. And when all else fails a bottle of wine errr I mean glass can ease the soul. From Bre at Growing Williams Family.
- Good old fashioned advice from grandma. Kind of an “odd” statement but my grandmother had seven children. This weekend while I was at her house, Aubrey was doing her own thing and Kelsie would not stop running up the stairs. Up and down I went. I finally looked at my Grandma and said, “How on Earth did you do this? Chasing after all these kids? How Grandma?” She simply said with no hesitation, “One at a time Jenna, One at a time” I think that applies to ALOT of things we do as Moms. From Jenna at For the Love of Baby.
- Relax. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Some things just aren’t worth getting worked up over and wasting your energy on. Do what you can, when you can and take a moment to relax by yourself or with your family. From AJ at A Little Bit Nutty.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Enlisting help like Grandma,a Auntie, neighbor, or a friend to come by so that you can get in a shower, a hour away ALONE to grocery shop or even to get in a nap for just a hour. These little session that you get alone are “RECHARGE sessions” from Tricia at Night Owl Mama.
Please moms, send me your tips for 2 under 2 and I’ll add them to the list and credit your blog link/name with them.
About Cat Davis
I’m not sure if I have any really good tips for you, but for a month I was the mother of two kids under ONE. My boys were born 11 months apart. As soon as I could, I got them on the same schedule. Obviously, that’s tough to do with a newborn, but my youngest moved to one nap a day long before my oldest had. With each of them on different nap schedules, I never had alone time to get my chores done, let alone a shower.
My only other piece of advice: Take your shower while the eldest is napping, because you can put the youngest in a bouncy chair in the bathroom!
I KNOW how you feel Rebekah is 23 months and Sarah is 4 1/2 months and I’m 9 weeks preggo!!!!! So yap tired!!!!so very tired LOL!
Here is my tips
1. CROCKPOT!!!! it’s a life savor, invest in 2 or 3 of those and a good crock pot recipe book! I prepare my meal late in the evening when toddler is in bed!!!!
That way I’m able to freeze some food and easily warm it up again.
I also cute some veggie bite size for me and Rebekah so that when in a hurry we need to eat something their is food available, yogurt and trail mix an nuts mix helps for those quick “I need to much on something” deal!
Pasta casserole when frozen could be put in the oven for a nice warm meal ( again prepare then when toddler is in bed and when hubby spent a few minutes PLAYING with baby!)
2. Get a place where kiddos could express imagination and creativity!
We have a box of stuff for art and craft that our eldest just loves to get into! Get her occupied while I have a few min to do other stuff
3. Young kiddos love to imitate!
Take advantage of it! let then see you clean and give then the opportunity to do it to! Our 23 months started doing laundry with me while she was just a few weeks and now she (with minimum help) can doing it on her own, she love doing dishes, washing floor windows etc…
These are a few of my tips!
Enjoy!
I know what you mean, it gets hectic for me too- i have days when i dont get a chance to sit with my kids. We all need to stop and smell the roses, errr their shampooed heads LOL
I would go crazy if it wasnt for gates?! Creating boundries for them is best for you- you wont have to worry where you toddler went when changing babiies diaper.
Ill cup up fruit in the morning and prepare something for lunch. When lunch time hits i dont have to rush and make something.
I do a lot of cleaning at night, makes the next day easier! Make sure everything is organized and put away before you go to bed. Worst thing to wake up to is a messy kitchen, so make sure thats clean too! The next day you will just need to dust and vacuum.
Laundry-my worst enemy. If you are watching tv, fold laundry on the side-youl get it done without noticing.
Cooking meals ahead of time is my favorite tip- Right now im low on already made meals in the freezer. when your cooking make extra/double and freeze!
Im making pizza for dinner today, ill make one for dinner and a few for the freezer. I halfway bake the crust then top them with veggies and cheese. I wrap them really well and freeze them.
The next time your making lasagna, prepare 2and freeze one.
Burgers- get some fresh ground beef, season it to your taste add some breadcrumbs. Form patties and stack them with wax paper in between and freeze. (i put a peanut butter jar lid inside of a plastic bag and form my patties that way- they turn out perfect everytime!) Make meat balls and freze them for the next time you want to make spaghetti. Also with Ground beef, saute an onion and brown beef, add salt and pepper, let it cool and freeze it. That comes in really handy! You can throw some in your lasagna, on a pizza, chilli and even soups!
I let my kids wipe the tables, and push around the vacuum sometimes, they have fun and they are occupied while im cleaning.
You can also try doing 1 big task a day. Deep clean at least one room a day. One day wash all windows, or wash/dry ALL bed sheets.
I hope these help you out!
Ill be checking back to read other tips!
Oh Cat, I totally know what you are going through. My boys are 17 months apart and it was really tough at first. I think it is even tougher when you are breastfeeding since you are pretty much out of commission while you do it and it takes longer.
Number one advice is to get them on the same nap schedule as soon as possible. It is the only way to get a break.
I totally agree about the gates. That is essential!
When you are going to feed the baby, try to get your 22 month old entertained with something before you start whether that be a snack, puzzle, an educational video like Signing Time, etc. I used to try and breastfeed the baby when my oldest was eating lunch so I was free when he was finished. I didn’t ignore him and I talked to him while he ate.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. I remember the advice of, sleep when the baby sleeps. Well that doesn’t work when you have two. It is tempting to want to get everything done when they are both sleeping but I used to try and sneak in a nap too. Try alternating days so at least every other day or every other other day
you get a nap in to recharge. I like the idea of getting stuff done at night when they are asleep but don’t wear yourself out before bed either. You need some down time. I let some stuff go and just realized they would only be this small for a while so if I am always a little behind on laundry, so what? As long as they all have clothes to wear who cares? Your sanity is worth so much more!
Get outside! Nothing tuckers kiddos out like fresh air and they usually take fabulous naps afterwards, leaving you some down time. Fresh air also does wonders for a frazzled mom too!
Get the your 22 month old involved with whatever you are doing with the baby if you can.
Don’t overdue it on the caffeine. Don’t get me wrong, it is a lifesaver but be mindful when you have some. If you plan on sneaking a nap in it is tough when you’ve had a lot of coffee and you might waste 20 minutes trying to fall asleep!
Don’t be afraid to ask for help or work something out for some “you” time. You should give you at least a couple of hours a week to go do something on your own even if it means you are killing two birds with one stone like running errands. Give yourself a chance to miss your babies. (It never takes me long to miss mine.)
Hope some of these help. I love the suggestions that everyone is making and I wish I had them when mine were smaller. If I think of any others I’ll let you know!
I know exactly what you mean. I have two year old twins and a six month old. I think I cried the first 4 months my youngest was born. Finding a routine was very difficult. But you do. So hang in there. The best advice I can give is don’t sweat the small stuff or even the not so small stuff. So what if the laundry is not done. So what if the dish pile is stacked high. Who cares if the floors haven’t been vacuumed. It’s not going anywhere. And a husbands help is a must! My husband often feeds the twins their meals when I’m just too pooped to do it. It may be dinosaur nuggetts but they surely won’t complain. And when all else fails a bottle of wine errr I mean glass can ease the soul!
Lots of good tips and I know where you are coming from! I think I have to remind myself to take time out for myself! Mom has to be taken care of for the kids to be taken care of!
Kind of an “odd” statement but my grandmother had seven children. This weekend while I was at her house, Aubrey was doing her own thing and Kelsie would not stop running up the stairs. Up and down I went. I finally looked at my Grandma and said, “How on Earth did you do this? Chasing after all these kids? How Grandma?” She simply said with no hesitation, “One at a time Jenna, One at a time” I think that applies to ALOT of things we do as Moms.
Here’s my tip. It has helped tremendously. At one point I had 2 under two if only for a couple months and now I have 4!
So here it is I know you’ve been waiting.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Some things just aren’t worth getting worked up over and wasting your energy on.
Do what you can, when you can and take a moment to relax by yourself or with your family. It gets better Cat I promise
I cried reading your post.I want to tell you that I could of written that just one yr ago. I was just at home one whole week with my newborn when my then 2 yr old got the flu was so loving he had to share it with mommy. I too was miserable, no sleep, feeling horrible cause I couldn’t hold both my babies and walk around the house to get things done because I was not only sore from a csection but horribly sick myself.
Still to this day I’m very overwhelmed and yes I do all that your readers have suggested. As both your babies get older it does get easier.
Enlisting help like Grandma,a Auntie, neighbor, or a friend to come by so that you can get in a shower, a hour away ALONE to grocery shop or even to get in a nap for just a hour. These little session that you get alone are “RECHARGE sessions” (atleast they are for me). Without them I truely think I’d of been sitting in the corner babbling to myself by the time my hubby came home from work. (all hours of the night. Sometimes not til’ 9pm leaving me with 3 kids from the night before til’ late at night. I can say now that the baby is getting older and my 3 yr old is starting to follow directions that my life’s moments where I feel that I just can’t take another hour alone with my children have gotten less and less and the times that I enjoy and laugh over their sillyness or accomplishments is happening more more. Remember the 1st yr is the hardest. You’ll survive just like all of us. Just hang in their and get that much needed MOMMY ME time you so deserve!! HUGS
I agree that having several gates is useful. We have like 4! I have 3 under the age of 3 so I feel ya! I also think that it is important to put everyone on the same nap and sleep schedule. You need a break.
My youngest is almost 6 months and she sleeps 3 naps a day. However, her afternoon nap is around the same time as my toddlers. Plus, she is starting bedtime the same time as the oldest 2. However, she still gets up about midnight to get a bottle but I at least get 4 hours to myself to spend solo time and with my husband of course.
You have to enlist the hubby to help too to alleviate the stress. When my husband gets home and I am still cooking, he takes the kids down to the basement and plays guitar games, play with the girls and they have favorite toys down there as well. Plus, hubby bbqs when the weather is nice and I don’t have to cook some nights too.
It’s crazy but I do take my kids out for malls, shopping and errands too.
We know how you are feeling!
http://www.lotusblossom22.blogspot.com
I’m interested in these tips! If things go as we plan them, we’ll eventually have 2 under 2 next year.
I did not have time to read everyone’s ideas but here are a few my 2 kids are 20 months apart and my next on the way will be 19 months here is how I survive. A lot of the things I do are already i your post.
Include the older child in your activities. My DD helps with the dishes, “cleans” the windows and washes dishes in the sink a lot. I also gate them in separate ares so they won’t bug each other and can have some alone play time. Pack up toys and bring them out later as “new” to keep kids interested. Do activities they can both enjoy like story time at the library. Some times just let them make messes and don’t stress as long as they are happy and safe. Mommy needs her sanity!
My boys are older now, they are 20 months apart. I understand the stress. One of the best things we did was that everyone had nap time at the same time. I would generally nap for 45 minutes and then get up and get a few things done before the boys would get up. I also made sure that I had a basket of “stuff” next to my chair when I breast fed. the basket contained snack crackers, books, and a simple puzzle that big brother could do while sitting on the floor next to me. It made breast feeding a bonding time for us all. In the evening I also made sure to spend some quality time with my big boy while daddy spent time with the baby. Then after both boys were in bed I would spend time doing things for me or relaxing with my hubby…..paper plates were also a great thing at this time
I honestly do not feel capable of taking care of ONE baby some days let alone to have two. But I do take care of my niece who is 3. And all I can say is to make sure that you have lot’s of help. Luckily I have the two older step kids who are helping out too..
((hugs)) When my twins were born, I had 3 under 2. It SUCKED. But it gets better. It’s a lot of fun now to watch them all interact and be close enough in age to be friends. You’ve already gotten the advice I would give…leave the dishes and the laundry. They don’t matter. It’s not gonna kill your kids to eat coco puffs for breakfast either.
JOIN A GYM WITH GOOD CHILDCARE. This is the only way I even get a shower! Lifetime Fitness is GREAT.
You get time alone to work out, which beats depression and is good for you, and your kids get a fun time out of the house. You don’t pay for a sitter since the childcare is free. They take 3 mos. and up.
How difficult it is, is relative. We have three under 4. Newborn, 21 mos., and newly 3. It’s INSANE. But if I have any two of them (and husband or someone has the third), it’s easy and fun. I am sure there is a mom with 4 that thinks 3 is easy.
When I had the newborn and 15 mos. old, I basically nursed and carried baby all the time while playing with the toddler. With three, I just try to keep everyone fed and clean, and happy.
Find a preschool that accepts 2-year-olds, and make good use of it. in our case, my 3-year-old is going to start 5 days a week in the mornings. The twice a day trip of getting 3 kids in the back seat of a car (tight fit!), then out to walk my oldest into school (in the snow/ice), and then again for pick up sounds like a hassle…but it’s time out of the house and a trip for all of us. Plus, I do get a few hours with just 2 kids.
I just stumbled upon this site as I’m preparing myself for 2 under 2. I’m currently the proud mother of a beautiful 10 month girl and I am 5 weeks pregnant with our next bub. We planned it this way then the reality hit us that we were insane after I found out we were pregnant. I have to say I love the tip that a bottle…errr…I mean glass of wine eases the soul. That sounds like my kind of mama time! My daughter is finally getting into cartoons and movies so I’m praying that between TV, movies, snacks, sippy cups, playing in the backyard, and just dumping the toy bin out for her pleasure will help me handle the newborn. To be continued…