I’m fortunate enough to live in a part of the country where we get to experience the wondrous changes of all the seasons nature has to offer. For a couple of reasons Fall is the most loved and hated season in our house. To me, there’s nothing more spectacular than fall colors, golden yellow leaves, bleeding red trees, sundown orange leaves….then a gust of wind comes and showers you with all of that beauty while standing under the tree. It’s just amazing.
Unfortunately our time spent outdoors is also interrupted by my husbands sniffly, sneezing, runny nose. This poor man is allergic to anything and everything nature has to offer, especially when the pollen count sky rockets in the Fall months.
The truth is, as much as I love the change of Fall, it’s also a very sad time for me, in the literal sense. About 5 years ago I was diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It really wasn’t a shock for me because I had researched the condition myself before going to my doctor.
By Definition
Seasonal affective disorder is a cyclic, seasonal condition. This means that signs and symptoms usually come back and go away at the same times every year. Usually, seasonal affective disorder symptoms appear during late fall or early winter and go away during the warmer, sunnier days of spring and summer. Symptoms: depression, hopelessness, anxiety, loss of energy, social withdrawl, oversleeping, weight gain, etc.
The hurdle of getting through this time for me is finding a way to fight those feelings. For those that have ever been through any form of depression know how much of an uphill battle this can be. Fighting the need to sleep my days and nights away, fighting the urge to eat everything or nothing at all, fighting the sinking feeling of worthlessness. So how do you get through it without medication? I think that answer is different for everyone. For me it’s knowing my kids deserve better. Every time my eyes swell up with tears for no reason at all, I think of my little girl that just wants to see my face all lit up because it makes her happy too. Every time I push my plate away to avoid food, I think of how physically tired I’ll be when my girls just want to go for a walk. Most days I beat the depression but some times I don’t. All I know is that if I keep trying, the feelings will drift away in a few short months and I can go back to feeling like ME again. Knowing the facts of what I’m going through helps me prepare when the next wave comes in the Spring.
About Cat Davis
I have known a couple of friends with this and they are miserable until Spring arrives. I am wishing you the best of luck through the seasons to come.
you are very brave to post about this. maybe you can find some help and consolation in your blog. it’s something that you enjoy doing and your blog seems to keep you happy. use it as a tool to keep you motivated and going daily. good luck to you.
i have the opposite reaction to food when i am down. i eat everything in sight. food is my comfort. now that i am a diabetic, i have found that crunching on veggies, nuts and raw fruit help me to avoid the starches some.
I’m sure it was hard for you to post this. I think you are brave and feel that if you can help one person to understand maybe something they have no idea about , you have done your work! I suffer from depression to and tend to get worse in the winter, even though it is pretty here it is just the fact that it is cold and you can’t go outside and enjoy the air ! i hope this year you can fight it , if you have those you can’t then just get up the next morning and keep going !
Hi Cat – Just wanted to let you know that i can completely relate. Growing up in Wisconsin, with the horrible stretch of February – April where you basically don’t see the sun for a few months (PLUS November – ugh! gray gray gray), I totally understand this. I find the best cure to have been keeping active even when the sun hides – try and find those places to go that make you feel sunny inside, even when it’s slushy because it snowed on April 20th…
Hang in there!
I can only imagine how much more difficult it is further up north with the longer winters. Today has been a particularly bad day…just trying to blog and tweet my way through it I guess.
Maybe getting a little activity will help though, I suppose the dog could always use an extra walk.
Cat I just want to thank you for your post. I live in the north as well and we have winter from oct-may most years. I am totally feeling like your post and had no idea why. I actually just told my husband today i should just leave because i am no good as a wife or mother anymore. Now i sit here and write through tears thanking you from the bottom of my heart because you may have just given me the reason why i all of asudden started feeling this way. Now i will go research it more, and if this is me then i too will try to find a way to get through this.
Again thank you so much for sharing your personal feelings.
Jessi (((big hugs))) definitely look into. So many people suffer through SAD not knowing what’s happening, why they are depressed, it’s a terrible feeling. It took me a good 10 years to recognize the pattern before I talked to my doctor about it.
I know for me…hiding from it makes the feelings worse, so please, feel free to email me anytime!
Just had to come and post and say thank you for being so honest and candid. My mother definitely suffers from SAD but will not get a diagnosis and she is 69 years old. THAT is sad, living a life suffering and not doing anything about it or knowing how to (and I was that little girl seeing her face NOT lit up like you try to do).
KUDOS to you for taking control as best you can and battling this head on. We all have weak days and you’re allowed to as well. BUT, you are a strong mama and it’s evident in your writing, the stories you share.
I hear you! Even though it’s beautiful it makes me nuts every year it arrives. I have 6 of the 7 symptoms you mentioned, and really feel awful all trough fall and winter. Did I ever tell you I dream of moving to California???
I feel for ya girl as I can feel my “demeanor” changing with the weather. It’s a horrible feeling and a big hurdle right now (((HUGS)))
Hugs Cat! I can’t imagine how tough it is to go through it each year. You are one strong momma though for finding ways to cope and finding ways to keep fighting it!
Cat, I’m the same way. Didn’t know that there was an actual disorder for it. I am going to pay more attention to it this year and see if I can kick it, since I know it’s coming!