Maybe not “technically” but when you’re 8 months pregnant and have little energy for bedroom romping, it sure feels like it.
Sex and my marriage aren’t usually things I’ll discuss on my blog. But tonight, I’m hurt. I haven’t cried from this kind of pain in quite some time. I’d rather disclose some personal feelings and maybe let someone else know they aren’t alone, than hold it in.
Tonight, I’m angry, I’m hurt, and incredibly sad. It took all of my strength, and lack of enthusiasm for spending a night in jail, not to dump the boiling spaghetti water in my husband’s lap. That and the hungry children that really would have been upset to eat spaghetti out of daddy’s lap.
My husband has been in a nasty mood since Friday. He’s been taking most of it out on me, but I know better than to think it’s entirely my fault. Financially, we’re in a pinch especially with tax season trying to sneak in the keyhole. Rather than talk to me, he let’s the stress build. But none of that is an excuse. What it does, is lead to today’s events. His nasty mood left him sleeping on the couch last night with a six pack of Corona, minus the one he had Friday evening. While I’m sleeping in our bedroom he decides to top his evening off with “Bikini Blitz”. While it’s not x-rated…it was enough to take care of his evening.
Maybe in some marriages this isn’t a big deal, but for me it is. When my husband is being “satisfied” by the visual of another woman he’s reaching outside of our marriage, even if it’s not physical or obtainable.
What hurts the most is I’ll admit, I’m not the most attractive right now. I’ve got a beach ball for a belly, my feet and face have started to swell and I’m extremely uncomfortable in just about any position outside of the chair I’ve molded to fit my tooshie. So yes, I haven’t been there for my husband as much as he’d like. Excuse the hell out of me! When I asked him how HE THINKS what he did makes me feel, especially in the state I’m in….no answer. Is it impossible for a man to fathom why I would be upset? Does he think doing that would make me more likely to sacrifice my aching body in the near future?
I just wish for once he’d let go of his personal needs for a moment and think about the stress he’s putting on me and his daughter right now.
Tomorrow is a new day I suppose.
About Cat Davis
Unfortunately, I too am in your position. But I finally have to just let it go. Because if I don’t let it go…I will dwell on it and allow it to cause problems in other area’s of my life.
good luck,
*((HUGS)))
A hug to you! I wish there were good answers but I do not have them. I think that stress can be difficult and sometimes there is huge lack of communication, yes even when you think you are good at it. I know, I have been there. My husband and I both had to step back and relearn to communicate after over 10 years of marriage. Maybe we had just become too comfortable and forgot about each other. The good news, for us, was we were willing to listen, fight and ‘work’ on it — and it was indeed work for both of us, no quick fixes! Now many years later all is well BUT we do not take each other for granted (as much).
Not that you want to but I would be willing to chat more about our situation off list … just send me an email! Again, not that I have any answers but just knowing there are others who have gone through it!
One more hug to you!
I’m so sorry. I remember those days of pregnancy and how awful that would be to not feel like your husband was there.
I do think that if it really bothers you, when you are not very angry and a little more calm, you and your husband need to discuss this.
Honey I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. My hubs has occassionally watched those kinds of shows and I know how it hurts. I flat out told him that it upset me and asked him if the tables were turned how he would feel; he said it would make him upset. ‘THANKS! STOP WATCHING THEM THEN!’
Men are so different than women; duh! I think that men want/need that kind of stimulation to release their stress and feel good. Whereas women need that closeness and intimacy to feel connected with their partner. For us it’s about closeness, for them it’s (most of the time) about their lower parts! lol
Good luck! I know it’s frustrating! Maybe after you feel a little better you can make him realize that YOU are better than any damn show he watches on tv! lol ((hugs))
Thanks girls. I feel just a tad better today. I was so angry last night I just skipped dinner and had a whole 3 hours of sleep. (but that was bc of the baby kicking me all night).
No matter what I say he just doesn’t get it…I’m just going on strike from talking to him for a couple of days to let the air clear.
I feel your pain because it happened to me and I could have hurt him really bad too because of how I was feeling.
It took away something from us. It’s painful and it’s hard to forgive and they have no idea how much they just hurt the family.
I think my husband understand now how much this hurts me and haven’t done so in a very long time (not that I know of), but I still don’t trust that he wont do it again.
I’m sorry my dear. I’m sorry. I really hope he will sit you down and really apologize and ask again for your forgiveness and trust.
*HUGS*
Hugs, honey. I have been there, and I know just how you are feeling. If you need to talk, I’m here.
Thinking of you.
Hugs, I know how you are feeling. My husband watches that too and I have finally let it go.
I am sending out huge hugs to you. I completely understand where you are coming from. Men can be such asshats. ((hugs))
I’m so sorry! Men can be such a pain, especially when your stuck living with them! I’ve been there and know how you feel. I hope you’re feeling better today.