The other night I was on twitter, like I am most nights and I started noticing a common trend in some of tweets that were coming and going…
MomMostTraveled @3KidsandUs holy smokes, you are awake early!
(it was 4am, I hadn’t gone to bed yet)
5minutesformom @3KidsandUs Thanks for the RT. 
How come u aren’t sleeping… I better get to bed soon. Jackson’s has school tomorrow! ~jan
(sometime after midnight)
NightOwlMama @3KidsandUs what time did u get to bed? I went after my last tweet 3am
(I went a little after 4am)
Going to bed after 3am is a common occurrence for me and clearly a few other moms out there as well. After a long day of household chores, playing with children, cooking and a million other insignificant duties…when it’s all said and done all you want is some time to yourself. In our culture it seems that each day is filled with twice as much work and half as much time. Claiming those few hours of me time comes with a price – sleep deprivation.
Just because you stay up late doesn’t mean you get to sleep in. The kids will still wake up at their usual time, whatever hour that may be. You still have to function – or do you?
This past week I’ve been running on about 5 hours of sleep. Clearly I’m still functional, but not as much as I could be. I’m starting to feel the effects of wearing myself thin and depriving my body of sleep – difficulty remembering things, clumsiness, irritability and worst of all, a weakened immune system. I’m on my 4th cold so far since Emma was born in February. This is by far the sickest year I’ve had since I was a little kid. I ask myself, is it worth it?
I’m still not sure I know the answer. I do know my body is rebelling against my need for time for myself but finding that balance is tricky. What I do know is that while sometimes twitter, my blogs, my need to be creative with graphics all feel like obligations, the truth is each one is a passion. Each little piece of my online life is apart of me and satisfies my odd need to be productive.
About Cat Davis
I used to do the same exact thing! I would be up till 2 am every single night and the next day I felt like crap and didn’t want to get up, something you can not do with 4 kids! When my girls went back to school I gave myself a bedtime (I know how silly is that) and I haven’t been up past midnight since…and I feel so much better in the mornings and get so much more done!
I’ve talked to you before late at night too! I’ve gotten back into a good routine though, I’m out by midnight now. How do you survive with such a young one, girl?!
That’s the problem, I don’t think I am surviving. I spent 2 hours this morning with fuzzy vision, vacuumed up my own foot twice and just laid on the floor letting the kids hop on me rather than playing a meaningful game.
I’m starting to think setting a bedtime for myself like Allison mentioned is exactly what I need.
Girl I think I am ready to give up, with working until 12:30 a.m. 5 nights a week, doing it all by myself around the house 99% of time I think I am a walking dead person and I have a feeling it is only soon I may have my limits met. If I could sleep in it would make a world of difference even if just the weekends but somehow my husband seems to be the one that manages to get that priviledge even though he is the one that can go to bed at a decent time. Yes he has to wake up and get ready for his office job but I get up at the same time and I don’t have a choice of when I get to go to sleep 5 nights a week.
I need to invent some energy something or another that makes you feel happy and energized LOL. Before I worked evenings I was always asleep at 9 p.m. (10 at the latest) and now with no choice it is killing me…sigh
Cat,
I too used to, geez, still do stay up later than I should or I’ll go to bed early w/my youngest who is still getting used to his own bed (and breastfeeding) and wake up w/a second wind and end up staying awake until the early hours of the next day. For months, I was surviving, but I started noticing my body no performing as well as it should. It’s amazing what we can accomplish w/our bodies to the extreme, but over the long term, it just doesn’t do us well. I still don’t really have a bedtime, but have started taking better care of myself and actually getting to bed before 2am on some mornings.
Allison made a good point about setting a bedtime for yourself. You don’t have to do the same time every night, but why do you think we make our children go to bed at a certain time (besides us wanting some peace and quiet)?
Another suggestion…take a look at how you use the hours of your day. I can see several (not minutes) hours in my day where I have wasted time – just not doing much of anything or I could improve on my performance. This past weekend, I didn’t want to, but cooked up a few meals for the week which has lightened my load so far and freed up time for me to do something else. I just started reading a real adult book (no board books here).
Definitely think you should! I know when I don’t get enough sleep I easily get cranky and impatient. I’ve actually liked sticking to the school routine this year, I’m getting enough sleep and I’ve seen a world of difference!
I had a baby in February too, and also have a 4-year-old. When the baby woke up to eat at night, I’d pop on to the netbook and read blogs, email, Facebook, whatever. Sometimes the baby would go back to sleep but I’d still be awake for an hour or two, surfing away- it was just so nice to have a quiet house and some “me” time. But I was SO TIRED by day- just barely getting by, and feeling really overwhelmed and short-tempered by the end of each day. Then I ran a red light while driving to my son’s preschool- I was so tired, just didn’t even realize I was blowing through it til I got honked at. Scared the h*ll out of me and made me mad at myself too, that I could have caused an accident or hurt people. I now have a bedtime- 11 pm- and no surfing in the wee hours. And I feel a lot better!
I am definitely sleep deprived. I stay up until daycare kiddos leave at 10:30pm, so I get into bed about 11:30pm. I then have kiddos that come at 3:45 am, so I am up from about 3:30am until about 4am, then it takes me a bit to go back to sleep, then I have more kiddos coming at 5:30am so I am up from about 5:15 to 5:45 then I grab a bit more sleep in my recliner until 6:30am when I am up for the day. I need to have a few more hours in my days, or should I say nights. This goes on Monday thru Friday morning.
Since my daughter was borne 4 and a half years ago I’ve had 4 hours of sleep most nights. It gets bad from time to time,most days I’m ok, I guess I’m use to it. Some days I feel so tired, and will go to bed earlier, but mostly I’m awake till 3 am…my kiddo gets up like 7 or 7:30 so I don’t get to sleep in the morning…hubby is out of the house by 8am.
I’m wondering how long I’ll be able to do this LOL
I have to debate about whether to watch a movie or tv show at night now. My thing is, I can stay up late, but the kids will still get up early. Is that movie, tv show, or email really that important? LOL I hear ya! ♥ HUGS ♥
I still stay up late. I like the idea of giving yourself a bedtime! I always manage to find work to do until 3 or 4am. I have found that I work better at night and whether I get 4 hours or 10 hours of sleep, I am always dragging in the morning!
Our bedtime (unhubby and myself) is 11o’clock. There is barely anything that will keep us from our beds at that time… Our bodies have been trained now. I’ve never had trouble functioning on minimal sleep… But I avoid staying up after my SO because once alone in my thoughts I am unstoppable. And while it is true that I would have a lot of great and menaningful blog posts, I don’t know that I would be as able to bond with my daughter is I were running on empty all the time.
To take care of our kids we have to take care of ourselves!
Sleep has a great affect on your over all health, and we needc to get enough; one way or another.
So I guess in the end the question is… where lies the priority? In “me-time”? or in health?
Best of luck!
I have learned to live on very little sleep due to my LD induced chronic insomnia.
My record is 3 days without sleep-But then again, I don’t have a household to run and kids to take car of.
I feel the same way. While I’m not up until 4, I have been online as late as 3am but most nights I hit the sack by 12 or 1. Still each morning I am overly tired and ready for a nap that I know I won’t end up taking because I’ll just be back online. There are days that I too wonder if it’s worth it. But in the end I realize it is because this is my outlet, my stress reliever and my quiet time. This is where I regain my sanity and melt into the quietness which only comes when the kids are asleep.
I’m learning to do better with it each day, although I wish I could kick the crabbiness that comes with it some days.
Oh girl…..I am right there with you. I hate it when people think that because I don’t go to sleep until 2 or 3am that I get to sleep all day or just nap constantly. NO! Hello, I have children. I have learned to adapt to this schedule because I have to. I been an insomniac since I was tiny….my Mom insists I’ve been one since birth but I’ve learned to adjust. Every now and then I try to adjust the bedtime to 11, 12 or even 1am and it will work for a couple of weeks then I go right back to 2 or 3am and wakeup between 6:30 and 7am to start the day with the kiddos! Fun! Really though the only time I have ALL to myself is those wee hours when everyone is sleeping and I can get on the internet, watch my DVR or do laundry!
Sometimes I have to stay up really late to get work done. At night when the kids and husband are sound asleep is a great time to get some quiet time.
That is my typical day too. I hit the bed at 4:00 am and am up and 8.am
Cat,
Where do you find the energy to get so much done and stay awake into the wee hours of the morning? Before my MBFF moved away we would text, chat, IM, for hours every night. I seem to get a burst of energy once I take a power nap, it certainly reenergizes me. I now have a “normal” bedtime and it has allowed me to be very productive throughout the day.
Aww you made a post about me Luv you Too. HUGS
R u still taking vitamins? They help me. My children r night owls too so I get my dd off to school and go back to bed rarely r we awake before 10:30a
I do the exact same thing. I usually go to bed around 1 or 1:30…but then around 3 the baby wakes to be fed. When my husband asked why I stayed up so late I told him because it’s the only time I have to relax!
But I am so tired and with cold/flu season coming up I think I need to figure some other plan out…
I hope you feel better soon!
I face this too even though I work out of the house. I stay up till midnight or so most nights and then get up to go to work at 4 am. I can’t speak for all men but my husband is terrible if he doesn’t get enough sleep. (and sometimes when he does too).
i am a night owl too.
My hubby is a shift worker who works swing shifts, so our sleep habits are atrocious. Plus, I’m a natural night owl. We are up most nights until at least midnight or 1:00 am, and when he’s on day shift he gets up at 4:20 am (well, I get him up at 4:20 am to be exact). I’ve gotten really good at waking up and going back to sleep, but there are those days when I simply can’t sleep at all. I’ve never found a good solution, and probably won’t until after he retires from working swing shifts. LOL