When my husband first became a police officer I was in constant fear for his safety. St. Louis had just been named the 2nd most dangerous city in the country and here I am the young wife with a new baby sending my husband off every day to combat the criminal element. It was nerve wracking to say the least. I remember waiting up for him some nights until 7 in the morning just to make sure he came home okay.
Years passed…the worry and fears for his life subsided. It has come to the point that I no longer give much thought to him heading off to work each day. I’ve learned to trust his judgment and months of training in the police academy. But on Saturday night, all of those fears came rushing back. The thought of being a single mom to three children sat like a lump in my throat as I watched the minutes tick by on the clock. Thirty minutes late….one hour late…two hours late…and 10 phone calls later…he finally calls.
Me “oh my god, where are you?”
Him “uhhh…at work”
Me “what do you mean? the hockey game ended 2 hours ago!?!”
Him “laughing….uhh I didn’t work the hockey game tonight, I’m working the hay rack ride, remember?”
Me “what? no. The schedule says….”
I look over at the calendar and then I see it…clearly marked…hay 7 – 12
Me “….oh, you’re right…well sorry, I got confused”
And that was that. He was safe and sound, busy sending drunks home, clearing out the event and here I was thinking of gun shot wounds and death. All of this really got me thinking about what life would be like without him around and I have to say, it scares me. As much as I wish my husband would find a safer line of work I know that being a police officer has always been his dream. The job is apart of who he is and in a way, it’s apart of me now as well. I suppose in any line of work you have to take the good with the bad…worry and all.
This post included in Real Life’s Your Life Your Blog“
About Cat Davis
I know how you feel. My daughter used to be a police officer. I was always proud of her and I knew that was what she wanted to do, but I am so glad she is in another line of work now. However as a parent I just find new things to worry about now even though I know she is a grown woman she will always be my child.
Cat,
I can’t imagine the stress you experience until your husband returns home, safe, and in one piece. I always look at families w/one (or two) spouse(s) in protective service as if they are serving as a complete family because there is more of a chance that someone may not come home safely every day just because of their profession. I’m sure everyone (even the children) are affected in some way.
It is good that you don’t deny your husband the experience of doing something that he truly loves. I’m sure he’s making a positive difference in the lives of the people he serves as well his co-workers. He must be making a positive impact w/your son since you mentioned that Mattison wants to be a police officer just like his father. It takes a special person to put their life on the line for another or to just serve another and do it right. That is a great trait to have.
Yes, the worry never ends. Although my husband isn’t in the same line of work, he’s recently been spending more hours on the road. If he doesn’t check in at least every few hours, then I know it’s because he’s in an accident on the side of the road. I do a lot of praying!
I am glad that everything turned out okay. My hubby used to be a correctional officer in a maximum security prison and I felt the same way everyday when he went to work. Your Hubby doesn’t always have criminals around him and he has a gun, flashlight and billyclub. Working as a correctional officer, you have nothing but your clothes and you are locked in there with nothing but criminals. For a while he worked in the kitchen. What do you think was in part of the kitchen? Butcher shop! Now, that is scary!! Thankfully he is out of that job now.
Huge stress releaver with phone call as he laughs at you being so frantic. Amazing as u look back on it all the info on a calender the whole time. Glad to her hubby was dealing with ghosts and goblins instead of Robbers and killers has to make you giggle just a little now after the fact. I’m sure he gave u one big hug and a loving day of affection after he came home
I can’t imagine how scary it must be to send him off each day/night with a kiss and worrying that it will be your last. This is why I could never be married to a police officer or fireman. I know what it is like to worry though, not because of my dh’s job but because of his crappy car. He drives 45 minutes to work and back sometimes around 12-1am on the highway and I know that if he got into a bad accident he wouldn’t probably survive because the car is old and has no airbags. I have spent a lot of nights up waiting for him and worrying and when my oldest was little driving around looking for him. He has a cell phone but almost never answers it…men! Anyway, I know how it feels to worry but I’m sure worrying about your officer husband is 10x scarier.
I’m sure this, in some ways, makes the two of you appreciate each other more. To see him walk through the door everyday must be a huge relief.
I can imagine how nervous it must make you. My daughters husband is a fire fighter while it is not as dangerours (in my opinion only) as a police officer it is still extremly dangerous to have to go inside a burning building etc… She always says a prayer over him as he leaves the house and comes back safely all day long as she makes the bed where he sleeps, folds his laundry or makes his meals. This helps to comfort her and her nerves
I couldn’t imagine being in your shoes. I love your comment of trusting his judgement. I believe that is what it is about.
Oh Cat! I don’t know how you do it. I would have totally been stressed out as well. Thank goodness he’s ok
Unfortunately, with your husband being a police officer and how dangerous the line of work is, there is most definitely going to be worry-I’d worry about you if there WASN’T worry!
But life is funny and sometimes things don’t go as we plan. That just means we have to go with the flow.
I’ll keep him in my thoughts though so you have a little extra =]
I like how you write down his schedule so that you’re aware of what he’s doing each day. I can’t imagine how scared you must have been.