I’m never afraid to admit when I’m at fault. It’s part of my personality that I know I can learn and grow from. Today, I admit, I was an irresponsible mother. To think of what could have happened had luck not been on my side makes my utterly sick and disappointed in myself.
Today, while our oldest child was at school, we thought it would be fun to take the girls out to the much less crowded mall to eat lunch and play in the gym area designed for kids. And it was absolute fun! Kaydee had the opportunity to socialize with kids her age and Emma just wandered around flashing smiles to anyone and everyone that would pay her any attention. The day truly couldn’t have turned out any more perfect.
Until we went to get lunch. The food court is located up stairs, overlooking a large atrium, conveniently placed next to the escalator and family restrooms. Here we are holding Emma, our belongings, keeping tabs on Kaydee and ordering lunch. I walked over to put the drinks on our table while my husband watched our sandwiches being prepared.
I look down and don’t see Kaydee.
“Jon, where’s Kaydee?”
“I don’t know, I thought she was with you.”
“She’s not with me, I left her with you.”
And then we are hit with a wave of panic, in the literal sense. While my husband scrambled to check the escalators, I stood there in the middle a full blown panic attack. How stupid of me! My 2 1/2 year old daughter is Lord only knows where and I’m standing in the same spot trying to slow my breathing down and praying my heart doesn’t flop right out of my chest.
As he came around the corner I manage to let out “bathrooms?” and he heads to the family restrooms to find her there, safe and sound, trying to wash her hands.
I’m grateful my daughter wasn’t picked up by a stranger, or falling down the escalator, but at the same time I’m so angry with myself for not only losing sight of her in the first place, but for reacting in such a way in the face of such a situation. Besides reminding myself to be more mindful of where my child is and communicating better with my husband, I’m not sure what my “moral of the story” is. A panic attack is not something I can typically control and that scares me more than the attack itself.
About Cat Davis
I have had this kind of moment! It is one of the worst moments ever as a parent. How we react is different for everyone. I screamed her name and ran around like a mad woman. I don’t think that was any more helpful. Your story only shows that we are all human. I’m so thankful that she’s okay and I’m so sorry for your worry and upset today. You aren’t alone and you are a great Mommy.
Oh man! Big hugs. I can so relate as I’ve had a few scary moments in my 13 plus years of motherhood. They move SOOOO quick. Glad she was okay..Clearly she’s very hygenic! LOL
Cat,
I have been there twice and don’t wish that upon any mother. I know that fear and you feel so helpless. I’m so glad Kaydee is okay and give yourself some credit for knowing your child; you knew to check the bathroom.
looks like such a great time and it is very scary when your child comes up missing. I have been there and done that sort of thing and can remember finding them normally not scared but me terrified.
Thanks God, she is fine. We passed one scared moment like that last year.
Have a nice week.
HUGs Cat. How awful. I used to get panic attacks alot and never knew how to stop them or deal with them.
So happy to hear you dd was found and she was safe and sound washing her heads getting ready for lunch
I think we’ve all had those moments where we curse ourselves for not being more attentive. Yesterday, while cutting bell peppers, I gave some to the kids and less than half a foot behind my back while chopping, my daughter spurred my son on to stick bell peppers into the stove fire. Serious time out! And me thankful that nothing bad happened.
It sounds terrible! I am glad everyone is okay!
Wow-That’s so scary not knowing where your child is, especially in a crowded place like a mall!
I’m so glad everything turned out well.
This is definitely one of those ‘live and learn’ type situations-Now you know what to expect and you can work through your anxiety attack. Maybe even look up tools to keep one under control if ever this happens again.
I’m sure every parent has one of these stories. And I’m sure one day I will too. I dread it! My little one is 3 months old.
That is such a scary thing to experience. I worry about my kids getting lost and hurt and as diligent as we can be, they will get hurt. This is a lesson and reminder for me to be more mindful, it could be me one day.
Oh Cat, I agree, I think we have all been there and thank God Kaydee is fine.
Panic attacks are no fun and you are right, there seems to be nothing you can do to stop them. Take it from me, you can learn to live with them and control them either with biofeedback or with medication or a combination of both.
Don’t beat yourself up, you managed to come up with the right thing at the right time and it all worked out in the end. You ARE a good mother!
I had a similar experience. We took my daughter to a Children’s Museum. I saw her walking towards my husband so I looked away. When I turned backed, she was gone. A friend ran to the front to watch the front door…while we searched. I think my heart actually stopped and I felt sick to my stomach. We found her playing in the “doctor’s office” part of the museum. I never went back there again.
OMG how scary!!! I remember when my oldest was 2 and we were at the mall with one of my friends and her kids. We were standing at the elevator b/c we had our strollers but my daughter was out of hers to walk around a little bit. While we were talking, waiting on the elevator we looked over see my daughter trying to squeeze herself through the bars of the second floor ‘gate’ looking down at the people below. She was so tiny. We were right there but holy crap…she fit through them. If we had not seen her soon enough she would have fallen down to the first floor. Thank goodness there was also a mall security guy there that saw how easy it was for her to fit through…they changed the bars to glass soon after.
Glad Kaydee was ok!
That is SO scary… I think everyone has a story like that. SOOOO glad she’s okay!
Wow, how scary! It does happen to everyone at one point, but OMG, I would have passed out….
I’m so glad she was ok. Now I know why people buy those leashes.
Do not laugh, but when my son was little I had a harness and a leash on him(back in the 80′s) It worked I never lost him. Oh, but there was the time when I could not find him in a cornfield! Glad it all worked out.
SIX kids and have had moments like that with all…I also felt SO bad at the time, but it is seriously hard to watch them EVERY single second! WE have to remember we are human.My scary goofs that I REMEMBER? ONe child went under at a water park when the WAVE came fast and furious and I had NO idea it would reach my daughter. Another family member scooped her up when I couldnt get there fast enough. TWO seconds, REALLY!
We also had TWO daughters that loved to give us heart attacks at the mall…in any store they would hide in the circular clothing racks and put their feet up. We would be like HAWKS watching but seriously…TWO seconds and they would do this.
THE worst was when my son got too close to a snapping turtle we all thought was SO cute…until it latched onto his finger and held on for dear life. NOt a thing we could do til he let go! I felt horrible!
I gave MY parents a scare at a packed ZOO when I was 7 years old. Went off to get some CRackerjacks, thinking my mom said was OK…and abracadabra…my whole family disappeared! I walked BACK to my car, in a HUGE parking lot and then back to the entrance where over an hour later my whole family found me! (Boy were my brothers and sisters MAD at me! and my parents so scared!) THIS in the day without cell phones and no loudspeaker announcements, amber alerts, etc. The world is changed…and we do have to be ever careful, but we just have to feel SO lucky and blessed when the angels watch over our kids when our eyes and ears are busy for a few seconds!