I’m never afraid to admit when I’m at fault. It’s part of my personality that I know I can learn and grow from. Today, I admit, I was an irresponsible mother. To think of what could have happened had luck not been on my side makes my utterly sick and disappointed in myself.
Today, while our oldest child was at school, we thought it would be fun to take the girls out to the much less crowded mall to eat lunch and play in the gym area designed for kids. And it was absolute fun! Kaydee had the opportunity to socialize with kids her age and Emma just wandered around flashing smiles to anyone and everyone that would pay her any attention. The day truly couldn’t have turned out any more perfect.
Until we went to get lunch. The food court is located up stairs, overlooking a large atrium, conveniently placed next to the escalator and family restrooms. Here we are holding Emma, our belongings, keeping tabs on Kaydee and ordering lunch. I walked over to put the drinks on our table while my husband watched our sandwiches being prepared.
I look down and don’t see Kaydee.
“Jon, where’s Kaydee?”
“I don’t know, I thought she was with you.”
“She’s not with me, I left her with you.”
And then we are hit with a wave of panic, in the literal sense. While my husband scrambled to check the escalators, I stood there in the middle a full blown panic attack. How stupid of me! My 2 1/2 year old daughter is Lord only knows where and I’m standing in the same spot trying to slow my breathing down and praying my heart doesn’t flop right out of my chest.
As he came around the corner I manage to let out “bathrooms?” and he heads to the family restrooms to find her there, safe and sound, trying to wash her hands.
I’m grateful my daughter wasn’t picked up by a stranger, or falling down the escalator, but at the same time I’m so angry with myself for not only losing sight of her in the first place, but for reacting in such a way in the face of such a situation. Besides reminding myself to be more mindful of where my child is and communicating better with my husband, I’m not sure what my “moral of the story” is. A panic attack is not something I can typically control and that scares me more than the attack itself.
About Cat Davis
I have had this kind of moment! It is one of the worst moments ever as a parent. How we react is different for everyone. I screamed her name and ran around like a mad woman. I don’t think that was any more helpful. Your story only shows that we are all human. I’m so thankful that she’s okay and I’m so sorry for your worry and upset today. You aren’t alone and you are a great Mommy.
Oh man! Big hugs. I can so relate as I’ve had a few scary moments in my 13 plus years of motherhood. They move SOOOO quick. Glad she was okay..Clearly she’s very hygenic! LOL
Cat,
I have been there twice and don’t wish that upon any mother. I know that fear and you feel so helpless. I’m so glad Kaydee is okay and give yourself some credit for knowing your child; you knew to check the bathroom.
looks like such a great time and it is very scary when your child comes up missing. I have been there and done that sort of thing and can remember finding them normally not scared but me terrified.
Thanks God, she is fine. We passed one scared moment like that last year.
Have a nice week.
HUGs Cat. How awful. I used to get panic attacks alot and never knew how to stop them or deal with them.
So happy to hear you dd was found and she was safe and sound washing her heads getting ready for lunch
I think we’ve all had those moments where we curse ourselves for not being more attentive. Yesterday, while cutting bell peppers, I gave some to the kids and less than half a foot behind my back while chopping, my daughter spurred my son on to stick bell peppers into the stove fire. Serious time out! And me thankful that nothing bad happened.
It sounds terrible! I am glad everyone is okay!
Wow-That’s so scary not knowing where your child is, especially in a crowded place like a mall!
I’m so glad everything turned out well.
This is definitely one of those ‘live and learn’ type situations-Now you know what to expect and you can work through your anxiety attack. Maybe even look up tools to keep one under control if ever this happens again.
I’m sure every parent has one of these stories. And I’m sure one day I will too. I dread it! My little one is 3 months old.