It’s official, my 7 year old son has his first crush. Of course I’m not suppose to know about it, he spilled the beans to dad. That actually bothers me a little bit because dad is the one that always did the teasing when it comes to liking girls. But I suppose that is the least of our worries right now.
Last night as we were checking out our son’s book bag we found an envelope addressed to “The parent or guardian of Mattison D—-”. Dun dun dun!!! Those kinds of letters are never good. The last one was a notice that a child in his class had head lice. Well, this one was on the same subject. It was a discipline referral. Can you smell the smoke coming out of my ears right now?
There’s one thing I won’t tolerate, and that’s bad behavior at school. I managed to make it twelve years in school with only one detention, which incidentally I got on purpose so I could stay after school with my best friend. I expect the same from my son.
Another thing I don’t tolerate is lying or sneakiness. This letter was outside of his take home folder, stuffed in a zipper pocket we don’t typically check. Five minutes after reading the letter we dragged our son out of bed to sit at the table and discuss this. Yes, it was after midnight which is why I had such a long evening. So here our son is, sitting at the kitchen table in his super hero underwear getting interrogated about his actions the previous day. After 30 minutes of whining, crying, denial, and threats of a polygraph (gotta love being married to a cop) he finally owned up to what he did.
Evidently, him and his new “girlfriend” decided to taunt the girl that came back to school that day after having the head lice. Not cool! I realize he’s getting older and wanting to follow the pack, but that’s not how we’ve raised our son. He’s had his fair share of being teased and bullied, I’m sure most of us have. After talking about how he made this little girl feel we made him sit down and write two apology letters, one to the little girl and one to his teacher for disturbing the class. And of course he’s lost all playtime privileges for the weekend, but beyond that I’m not sure. I’m thinking the shame he felt while writing the letters was sufficient enough, but I’m just not sure.
Tell me moms, what would you do?
Bullies and Girlfriends
February 6, 2009 | 6 Comments | 957 views
I think you did great mom!
I think that you did the right thing making him write letters. But if I were you, since you already told him no weekend playing privledges, you can’t go back on that b/c then he will always think you will. Then later when you punish him for something else he’ll think, ‘well last time mom and dad gave in…she won’t stick to it..’ ya know? It’s tough but I think it will teach him a lesson and next time will think twice before making fun of someone.
I love the polygraph threat! That’s too funny! I should’ve married a cop! lol Good luck this weekend! One thing I’ve learned is that when I punish my kids and take something away is that I suffer from it too! lol
I think that writing the letter was great! Beyond that I agree with the above comment, stick to what you have said – but for me we use a lot of ‘talking’ about things to really help our children understand what they have done and why it was not acceptable. I think so often children do ‘follow’ and do not even realize how hurtful they are being. I think this needs to be done in a kind manner or the child will also just feel bullied and learn to defend himself instead of learning compassion for the person being picked on.
I think it takes a strong person to be a leader and not follow along and we have to teach our children to do that and how they can set example for their peers. Role playing is a great way to practice this!
Parenting can be so hard! Good luck, you seem to be doing great!
Yeah… if Cade pulled that… he better pray his father gets to him before me. Some stupid kid at his Daycare has bit him 3 times. I know it’s the same Holdyn kid but the daycare won’t do anything about it. If that was my child, he wouldn’t be going back to school while doing that.
I love parents that don’t care what their kids do. Those are the kids who will grow up and end up in jail.
Whatever you do… don’t ignore the problem. I give you props for getting his butt out of bed. Take away his games or what ever he prizes That would teach him.
I think you handled it well. I’m sure he’ll think twice the next time.
I think making him write the letters is a good idea. Taking away privledges is also a good idea.
I swear hun..It does not get any easier. I have a 11 year old step daughter and 12 year old step son…and They are both quite ready to go ahead and get into trouble..on purpose…ARGH…its getting harder and harder to raise kids