3 Kids and Us

Marrison Family Law – Advice On Helping Your Kids Through Divorce

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A divorce can be a tough situation to go through for all parties involved, especially for children. As a  parent it is your job to protect your children as best as you can throughout this process and offer them the support that they need to come through it. Many children are scarred for life as the result of a divorce and this can affect both their future behavior and their future relationships. It is impossible to completely shield your children from a divorce, their parents breaking up will naturally affect them, but you can try your best to help them through this process. We spoke with the team at Marrison Family Law who are very experienced in this field, to get their tips on helping your kids through the process.

Talking

Kids will always be able to sense that something is up so it is vital that you are speaking with them regularly about the process. If you keep things under wraps then your children will jump to conclusions, usually worse than the actual truth. Naturally you don’t need to tell your children all of the gory details of a divorce, but they should understand what is happening and why, as well as being updated about the process.

No Insults

Whatever your feelings are about your ex-partner it is vital that you do not talk about this in front  of your children. You must remember that your ex is still the father or mother of your children, and it should be up to the kids in the future – once they know the full truth – to make a decision on how they feel. Furthermore, speaking badly about someone will make the children believe that it is ok, and they may start doing the same themselves.

Cordial

Whilst the divorce proceedings are going through, you must stay cordial with your ex partner with regards to the children and allowing them to see the kids. The court will rule as to who gets custody and arrangements about looking after the children, but until then you mustn’t use the kids as pawns, they still need to see their parents. Seeing their parents regularly will also help the kids keep some kind of normality.

Treats

Because of the guilt that many parents feel when going through a divorce, they like to try and treat their kids to days out and presents, which they wouldn’t normally have done. As nice a gesture as this is, it is not a smart way to go about things. Firstly you need to try and keep as much normality in your children’s lives as possible, and secondly the kids can use this as an opportunity to play one parent off the other. You do not need to buy your children, you need to love them and encourage them to be open and honest with you. Both parents must be singing from the same hymn sheet in this regard.

Edgar Gonzalez Anaheim Provides Top 10 Youth Drug Prevention Tips

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For Edgar Gonzalez Anaheim is home. He has lived in Orange County all of his life and he has seen its tremendous strengths, but also its tremendous weaknesses. One of the key weaknesses he found is that, in both Anaheim and Santa Ana, there seems to be a real issue with young people who drop out of school and who then turn to drugs and other illicit activities. However, that is when he came across the Who’s Next Boxing Academy, which provides a supportive environment for these young people, introducing them to boxing and baseball as an alternative to drug use. This, in turn, has helped Gonzalez develop top 10 strategies for preventing drug abuse in young people.

Edgar Gonzalez Top 10 Drug Prevention Tips for Youths

  1. Children should still be taught to “just say no”. While some people believe that slogan died with the turn of the Millennium, the reality is that it is just as strong as ever. Children have to remember that it is ok to say no – to drugs, to sex, to violence, to truancy, and so on.
  2. Children should be provided with supportive environments in which they can connect with their peers in a positive manner. Sport is an excellent opportunity for this, as it is structured but also a lot of fun.
  3. Parents and other adults should support their children in taking part in these positive activities as much as they can. They should also have open and honest conversations with their teens.
  4. Children should be encouraged to do what they love and enjoy their lives. They will have an entire adult lifetime of coping with pressure and responsibilities. Now is the time to be young and to have fun, albeit in a safe environment.
  5. Families should instill strong rules and expectations about drug and alcohol use, and those should apply to the adults as well.
  6. Educational outreach should be provided to young people about drugs and alcohol. This should go beyond simply telling kids that drugs are bad, as they already know this. It is about making sure that they truly understand the impact of drug abuse on their life, their health, and their happiness.
  7. Children should be surrounded by positive role models who set good examples. This is why Gonzalez is so supportive of the Who’s Next Boxing Academy, where young people get to train with those who have been there, as well as with peers who are still learning and developing.
  8. Children should be encouraged to plan ahead, which goes back to having open and honest communication. They are likely to go to events where drugs and alcohol will be present and they should have coping strategies in place for those situations.
  9. Children should be empowered to take control by encouraging them to speak up and speak out. They are responsible for their own health and happiness and that is a very powerful thing.
  10. Kids should be given help rather than being abandoned if things do go wrong.

5 Reasons Kids Should Exercise

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Keeping your children healthy and happy is one of the most important parts of a parent’s many jobs. It’s not always easy with so much temptation all around and so many sugary snacks and drinks, not to mention computers, tablets, and video games that make kids move around a lot less than they might normally do. Therefore, getting kids to exercise more is a great idea, and there are some good reasons why children should exercise.

They’ll Sleep Better

Children who are physically fit and healthy sleep much better than those who aren’t, and this is good for a variety of different reasons. The first is that getting enough sleep allows the body to re-set itself overnight, repairing any problems that it may have come across. When this happens, your child will wake up feeling healthy and energized, ready for the day ahead. Also, According to Daniel DeMoss, studies have shown that children waking up early tends to be smarter and get better grades. If they don’t get enough sleep, then these repairs won’t have time to take place, and throughout the day they will feel less able to get on with things. Their productivity and concentration levels will fall dramatically.

They’ll Help You

If your kids are out exercising then you can be too; in fact, if you can all play and get fit together, it can create a much stronger bond between you as well as giving you plenty of health benefits. If you are taking cholesterol medication, or medication for high blood pressure or other ailments then getting a good amount of exercise can help your condition, and working out with the kids will give you the boost you need to do it, and do it regularly.

They’ll Develop Healthy Habits

Children who get into a good routine of exercising regularly will develop healthy habits when it comes to fitness, and they will carry these on into adulthood. If they have children of their own, they will be able to pass these traits down so that another generation of children will grow into healthy, able adults.

They’ll Be Better Behaved

Studies have shown that getting outside and playing (so not even regimented exercise – running around with their friends can be good enough) improves the behavior of children, making them happier and friendlier with fewer anger issues. This could be because exercising like this is fun, and it produces hormones such as serotonin that combats stress, making them feel much calmer and happier in general. It could also be that they are concentrating on what they are doing and when they are finished they are tired, so they don’t want to be combative anymore. Whatever the actual reason, it’s a good way to keep the family dynamic strong.

They’ll Have A Better Immune System

When a child gets the right amount of exercise, it boosts their immune system making them less susceptible to illness. They won’t catch so many colds, for example, and their cuts and grazes will heal quicker. They will have lower blood pressure, and their weight will be controlled too, and this means they will be less likely to develop conditions such as type 2 diabetes. Plus, if they are outside, they will be getting more vitamin D which is essential for healthy bone growth.

Top Life Skills To Teach Your Children

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Do you wish that your parents had begun even earlier to teach you all about life’s important lessons? As a parent, it is tricky to decide when we need to discuss important life events, such as death, money, divorce and even learning how to be a balanced and fair-minded adult, with our children, even more so as in today’s day and age they seem to grow up so fast. However, you need not worry. By beginning to talk through any worries and concerns that your kids have at an early age, and creating a safe and open space in which to do so, your children will be stronger than ever and ready to face the world.

If you are beginning to choose the right moment to sit down and have a conversation with your kids, then make sure it is when they are feeling relaxed and ready. Do not force your little ones if they are tired and cranky, as you may risk closing the door on an important opportunity. Equally, if your children bring up any questions themselves, then it is vital that you take this chance to begin having a dialogue. Make sure that you treat your little ones as adults from a young age, and be sure to enable them to voice their opinions and ask questions when they feel that they need to. If you begin teaching your kids to be vocal from a young age, then they will soon learn crucial life skills without too much effort.

Money management

Money is always a difficult and complex topic to talk through with your kids, and this will depend on the relationship that you have with finances as an adult also. Make sure that your children understand from a young age that money does not grow on trees! In order for your kids to experience the value of money and the price of things and goods, why not get them involved in your weekly shop from a young age? It could be as simple as taking your toddler to the grocery store and practicing counting up to ten or getting your four or five-year-old to help you pick items off the shelves. As your kids grow up and begin to have their own allowance, or income from a Saturday or weekend job, make sure that they understand the importance of saving. If your kids are looking to buy a new bike or outfit, then it will be up to them to manage their income and make sure that they have enough cash before they can splash out on a treat for themselves. You could try buying your kids a piggy bank so that they can save any dollars or dimes that they earn in a safe place. Take your kids to your local bank too, so that they can open up a savings account and see first-hand how money is managed. Money management is always a complex topic to discuss with children, so make sure that you start as soon as you feel that your kids are ready.

Love and friendships

An important life lesson to discuss with your kids, and one that they are sure to learn first-hand as they grow, is love and friendship. Friendships and relationships with others are wonderful and beautiful, and your kids should learn that with respect and tolerance these interactions will grow into long-lasting and cherished exchanges. However, make sure that your little ones understand that they will need to treat their friends as they too would like to be treated. When it comes to friendships, your kids will need to learn that they need to show respect for others and always be willing to listen and exchange thoughts. In younger children, this will become obvious when your kids have an argument in kindergarten over a toy or a crayon, whereas as your kids grow older, they may have a negative experience in the schoolyard that needs to be discussed. At home, make sure that your children always know that they are loved and supported so that they do not bottle up and concerns or worries that they may have. Encourage your kids to talk about their friendships, and they will grow up into well-balanced, loving and open-minded adults.

It is important too that your kids learn that not all relationships work out. If you are going through a divorce, then make sure that your children do not feel alone, and be sure to tell them that Mom and Dad will still love and cherish them the same amount. Kids often feel vulnerable and alone when any changes occur that affect their family life, so it is up to you to be the adult in this situation and ensure that no animosity between yourself and your partner damages your kids. Provide your children with the opportunity to ask any questions that they need to come to terms with this difficult period.

Follow your dreams

When it comes to teaching your kids about life, and the challenges that they will face, it is vital that you teach them to follow their dreams and do not allow others to put them down. If you want your children to succeed in life and enjoy a career that they enjoy, then make sure that they aim high from an early age. Even if your kid’s struggle in school, when they get home it is up to you to ensure that they have the support and attention that they need to get their homework completed on time. You could also try and support your kids during their downtime, by making sure that they can follow and play any sports that they enjoy and are good at, or make sure that they have the chance to learn a musical instrument or take an art class. Try and provide your kids with a rich and varied childhood, so that they learn new talents and skills that they can transfer into their future career as they grow and mature.

It is ok to say no

Your children will begin to experiment with saying yes and no from a very early age. However, as they begin to grow up and enter into their teenage and adolescent years, your little darlings may soon be saying no much more than you might like! Be sure that your kids understand and explain why they are feeling negative and want to say no – could it be peer pressure is influencing their decision? Make sure that your kids are comfortable with saying no too if they are not comfortable with a particular situation or experience. Learning to say no is an important life skill that will keep them safe and in control well into later life.

Old age

If your parents have been around as your kids grow, then chances are they will love spending time with Grandma and Grandpop, however, old age is a topic that many younger children will struggle to understand. Each and every family dynamic is different and special, so make sure that your kids feel comfortable and ready to ask you questions about getting older, what happens to the body and even mortality if they bring this up themselves. If you have your parents in your life and they are getting older, then it soon may be time for them to go into care or to live in a retirement unit. Sites such as the seasons assisted living provide a safe and welcoming space for residents with an action-packed social and activity calendar. Be sure to encourage your kids to have a rich and loving relationship with their grandparents and encourage them to discuss getting older and what this means as soon as they feel ready and able. This will also instill a good mental attitude and sense of care, consideration, and respect towards older people in general.

As your kids grow up and get older, it is crucial that you begin to talk to them about different life lessons, to provide them with the skills and knowledge to succeed during their own lifetime. Make sure that you do not force these dialogues and make sure that your children feel comfortable asking any questions that they want to. Money management is a vital lesson for your little darlings to learn, so be sure to teach them about the value of finances from a young age. Make sure that your children begin to understand the importance of love and friendships and make sure that they understand that they need to respect others so that they can build life-long bonds. Make sure that your kids feel comfortable saying no, and make sure that they understand the power of this word. Your little ones should also always feel driven and confident enough to follow their dreams so that they can go on into a fulfilling and exciting professional career. Finally, take time to talk to your kids about aging and old age, so that they understand more about this important and inevitable part of life.

Should You Become a Foster Carer?

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Across the world, there are thousands of children that are in care who are all looking for homes. However, there is a shortage of suitable homes that can take these children in and make them part of a family again. Not everyone thinks that becoming a foster parent is for them, or they think that they won’t be selected. In fact, there are probably more potential foster families out there then you think. Here’s how to decide if you should become a foster family.

What Types of Foster Care Are There?

For those that want to foster children, there are several types of foster care you can do. Short-term care is when you are looking after a child for a few months until they can be found a permanent home. There is also respite care that involves taking children for a few days or a couple of weeks. Respite care is usually used to give long-term carers a break and is often for children with disabilities or special needs. The last type is long-term care and involves fostering a child until they reach adult age.

Are You Suited to Foster Care?

There are no sets of rules for those who can foster and those that cannot. However, it is important that you have certain characteristics for it to be a success. Fostering a child can be full of challenges and in many ways demands more from you than a birth child. You need to have an empathy and understanding for children to get the best from the experience. You also need to have a loving nature but be able to set boundaries and be aware of their needs. For some people, fostering is not what they are looking for; some people who are looking to give back might decide that they want to find out how to become a surrogate instead, which is a completely different experience, but just as rewarding.

Do Plenty of Research

Taking on a fostering role is a big responsibility, and you should be fully aware of the requirements before applying. That is why you need to do a lot of research into fostering and what it entails. Read stories from other foster parents to see what challenges they faced, try to join forums where you can ask questions or read about other fostering parents.

Understanding the Process

Once you have decided to apply to become a foster carer, you need to understand what the application process involves. It can be quite an in-depth process and also invasive to you and your family. It needs to be like this so that the authorities know you are the right person to foster a child. The authority workers will need to speak to you and your family about your lives and also look into your financial and work backgrounds. After all of this, you will be told if you are successful or not.

Becoming a foster carer is one of the most rewarding things you can do in your life. For those who cannot have children of their own, it also means they can still offer the love they cave to a child.

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We left our home in Sydney, Australia many moons ago in May 2012 and, other than a brief stint back in Perth for Christmas and a wedding in early 2014, we have been travelling the world nomadically ever since, running a business from our laptops and we’re here to show you how to do it!