Getting a divorce is very rarely a comfortable experience and if you have kids, things get even more complicated. While no one from the outside has the right to judge you for your decision, there are things that both the parents should consider for the future well-being of their children. On that note, let’s take a look at some those points before you call the divorce attorney.
It’s Not the Same for Them
Getting separated after a particularly suffocating marriage can be a life-changing and positive experience for you, but it’s almost certainly not the same for them. Do not try to make them a part of your delight if they don’t want that. Never use force to “make” them accept the situation. Seeing one’s parents leave each other and learning to live with just one parent most of the time can be a harrowing experience. The best thing you can do is give them time to adjust to the new situation and provide them with your support when they need it.
Be with Your Kids
For many, divorce is a release and while we are not denying that, if you have kids, you need to be with them during and right after the divorce. It is necessary that both parties adjust to the new situation and all that comes with it, but what about the kids? You took a decision that they likely had no part in but have just turned their world around and changed everything in that world. The logical thing to do is not to just pack up and move to chase a new life right away but to be with your kids and help them adjust to the current situation.
Don’t make them feel like they have just lost both of their parents by going away on that exotic vacation right after a divorce. The vacation will surely come later, but the kids come first. If the children are young and you already have a boyfriend or girlfriend, it is important that they are given the opportunity to view that person not as an intruder into their lives, but as a part of the family. It will not happen right away or may not even happen easily, but the patience and the effort need to be there.
Not Everything Will Be Peachy
The partner being left will always feel betrayed and victimized, while the one who files for the divorce will likely feel more positive. The clash of heightened emotions makes for two very unstable people, which isn’t good news for kids, especially small children. One must act both cautiously and with empathy for the ex in order to make the painful transition phase as smooth as possible for both parties and, especially, the children. Also, even after the divorce is over, it is very likely that you will continue to come in regular contact with your ex since you both have children together. There might also be other issues like maintaining legal agreements, allowing maintenance, and dealing with negligent exes among others.
Even though divorce is not always the best solution to all the problems in your marriage, it might often be the only option left. In such cases, a qualified divorce attorney will help you make a case and win the divorce in your favor, but even then, it is ideal to consider and reconsider some of the points made here until you are sure about getting that divorce.