3 Kids and Us

13 Things You Should Always Remember When Getting a Divorce

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Sometimes, life is not what it is made out to be like in the movies. Though dream weddings can exist, in many cases, marriages can sometimes come to an end over time. There is a misconception about divorce that it must be messy and expensive, which it can be if you don’t follow the right tips to making it a smooth process. Although it can be hard to let go, people are beginning to see divorce as an opportunity to find a better life. When you have children, the process can become an infinitely more difficult one, where it is not just you and your spouse’s feelings at stake. Before you make such a life changing decision, make sure you consider some key points.

It isn’t the only option

For many reasons, people think that when you enter into a marriage, it is going to be an easy ride. This means that when there are dips in the time they have together, they can start to think the end is near when it might not be. Though it is true that divorce is sometimes the best option, it is imperative to note that it is not the only one. For example, there are many marriage counsellors you can see if you are committed to saving your marriage, but there are also times when you might see improvements after a rough patch. If your marriage hasn’t improved after you feel like you have exhausted the options, then you can think about whether divorce is the right path for you.

You’re allowed to grieve

When you have separated from a spouse, it is one of the hardest times in a person’s life. Despite this, many parents feel as though they don’t have time to process their feelings when there are other people who will be feeling the effects of the divorce, such as children. However, making it so you have no time to grieve may feel like a welcome distraction at first, but it will likely hinder your chances of moving on effectively from the situation. It will be hard, but remember to give yourself time to grieve over your old life, so that you will be able to see your new one emerging on the horizon.

Keep it quick

What puts people off about divorce is that it can sometimes be a lengthy process, which makes it harder for every person involved. It may feel as though you can’t let go quickly but holding on longer will make it even harder in the long run to accept what is happening. It is worth remembering that divorces can happen amicably despite the circumstances, which will make it easier to co-parent when you are separated but will also mean that any assets are split quickly and fairly.

Consider the financial costs

There are also financial reasons why you should act quickly when getting a divorce. Hiring a legal team can sometimes cost more than your wedding might have, especially if there are some financial disagreements that are tricky to work through. Not only this, but any joint savings you have may be compromised during the process. It is unlikely that you will be able to split your assets down the middle, which is why it is always a good idea before you commit to someone to sign a pre-nuptial agreement, so that in the off-chance divorce comes about, you are not left without any money after. 

Choose a good lawyer

One of the best ways to save money during a divorce is by hiring the best divorce lawyer at a reasonable cost, and who has a proven track record. This is key, as there are many lawyers out there who will only be thinking about the money they can make during the hard times of separating spouses. If you research effectively, weigh up your budget, and go in wanting a speedy process, then you will be able to find one that suits you. In all cases, this lawyer must have your kids’ lives at heart throughout the process, as they will become a big part of the divorce agreement you come to.

Put your kids first

Putting your kids first is something that people forget about when getting a divorce, due to the stressful situations that can arise when you are separating from someone. This usually means that your kids get caught in the crossfire between two arguing parents, which can unfortunately lead to a host of problems later in life. For example, mental health issues can affect them more, and there are some children who will start to feel abandonment complexes if one of their parents decides to leave the family entirely. If there is one piece of advice you should always take before getting a divorce, it is that your kids can escape the process relatively unscathed if you out them first at all times.

Employ a children’s therapist

There will be times in your divorce when you are not able to be your strong self for your kids, especially when you are giving yourself time to grieve. In these cases, you should consider whether hiring a children’s therapist is a good idea, where your kids can learn to articulate how the divorce has made them feel, but also where they can speak to somebody as an outlet for some confusing emotions. This may seem like a big cost in the short term, buy our children will reap the benefits in the years to come.

Be careful bringing family and friends into the process

It is not just your kids you must consider during this time. In fact, there are other family members who will also be affected by such changes. This could be when your parents are close to your spouse, and when they could try to step into the process as a way of protecting you from harm. Although it is primarily you and your kids who will be suffering, you should not forget that this is a time of change for your mutual friends and family, who may feel as though they need to pick sides. Be careful about the details you divulge. Although it is important to have support and advice it is also important to ensure the de

Have a strong support network

Even if you can avoid bringing your friends and family into the middle, that doesn’t mean you should cut off your support network. This will be a difficult time for everyone involved, which means you will need emotional support to keep you going strong. Asking siblings, friends, and parents to be there for you is always a good place to start, as they can supply a shoulder for you to cry on in your time of need. Despite this, they could be dealing with some other commitments that make it harder for them to be there for you as much as they can.

Seek professional help

When your support network can’t be there for you as much as you need, then you should consider seeking professional help. This means you can learn how to deal with the process in a calm and collected way, while still enabling yourself to have a space to grieve in. Therapists are not only there to talk issues over, but to equip you with some valuable advice that you should take. Such advice will help you move onto the next stage in your life with fresh, new eyes, and with hope rather than dread. It will also stop any emerging mental health issues in their tracks.

Consider what you want

Ultimately, you should never be forced to stay in a marriage that is making you unhappy. While there are other people to consider, you can’t live your life for what they want you to do, as you will find yourself unhappier for a longer stretch of time. During a divorce, it can be easy to put it off for this reason. It will be hard, but if you take the leap to do something that makes you happy, you should not feel guilty about divorcing who isn’t right for you.

Don’t be selfish

At the same time, there are some people who put their own needs above everyone else’s, which can come at the cost of other people’s emotions. It is easy to assume that putting yourself first means being selfish, but this is not the case. For example, you may wish to start seeing other people, but you can hold off from this until after the divorce is finalized, or you will be making your chances of having a fair and amicable divorce slim. At the end of the day, your kids should be at the heart of this process, but if you know what is best for you, then this should be what is best for your kids, too.

Try not to rush into something new

Going on a rebound is one of the first things people do after they have split from someone they have been dating for a long time. Although this can be fun, it is easy to get caught up with excitement and make careless decisions. The key here is to learn how to spend time being happy by yourself, which will make you stronger in the long run. It will also put you in a better headspace, so that the next time you meet someone, you can have a better relationship than your previous one.

Ways To Become A Better Parent

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Being a parent is tough. As every single kid is different, it is impossible to say that there is a strict way of raising kids. However, after thorough research it has been proven that by following certain methods people can facilitate their life as parents and become better examples for their kids. Looking back at their childhood people realize how difficult and complicated their parent’s life has been, almost like a career. Back in the day people did not get access to books or online courses that taught them how to raise their kids. Yet our grandparents knew exactly how to deal with every single situation.

Even though they were not the most effective methods or raising a child and often they left many people scared, they still worked out. Fortunately, things have changed over time and raising a child is a lot easier these days. Parents need to be thoughtful and be very careful about how they act when they are around their kids. Good parenting is the most effective way of hosting empathy, self-control, kindness, and cooperation. At the same time, it protects kids from developing anxiety, depression and even drug abuse. The following principles are great for anyone who deals with kids.

Commit to Taking Care of Yourself

By taking care of yourself, you become a happy, encouraging parent for your child. In order to do so you need to integrate self-nurturing into your day to day life. This is not as complicated as it sounds. All you need to do is go to bed early so that you are well-rested, transform negative voices into positive ones, eat healthier foods and keep active for a more energized and well-balanced well-being and slow down the pace of your life. Most of the time kids can become a handful and you need to calm yourself down before interacting with them. Once you are at peace with yourself, you can easily manage certain situations and see things from a different perspective.

Avoid Comparisons and Labels

It is important to remember that good parenting happens in real time. A good parent is able to recognize key moments and transform them into the best life lessons. Comparisons among siblings will often lead to labels. It seems that even labels that are meant to praise children’s capabilities (e.g. little scholar, for a book-obsessed child) can be problematic. Siblings might develop fears related to certain aspects. For example, if one of the siblings already owns the musician title, the other sibling may be afraid to learn how to play an instrument for fear of falling short. Thus, you need to be very careful when labeling kids. Labeling is only effective when you rethink your words: “careful” instead of “shy” or “spirited” instead of “hyper.”

Walk the Talk

It is a well-known fact that babies and little children watch every move that their parents make. For that matter, parental behavior is critical when raising kids. Parents are teaching their kids a lesson every single minute of the day, even when they are not doing that on purpose. Your baby is observing the way you greet people on the street or how you talk to them and even the way you talk to your partner. In other words, the way you react in certain situations has a direct impact on their behavior. You don’t have to go out of your way when teaching them important life lessons, but you need to become aware of the way your react in every situation. This provides great life lesson about life each time your kids are with you.

Remember what is Important in Life

Kids make mistakes, but so does everyone else. No matter how big or small those mistakes are you need to start remembering the most important aspects of life. Stay positive and learn how to focus on what matters the most. In the larger scheme of things, the fact that their toys are spread all over the floor might drive you insane, but it not worth punishing them just for that. Kids will be kids, and they love adventure and experiencing new things. Make great memories with them before they grow up. Go on vacation together, visit relatives, go on spontaneous trips to the zoo and have the time of your lives. After all, people need to remember how to seize the moment. Take pictures on the go, and you’ll be able to keep those memories forever. Turn those photos into paintings and decorate your home with a unique piece of decor. You can do that in a simple manner. Want to know how? View here!

Trust Your Gut

Your intentions are good. Parents try to make the best choices for their kids, calibrate the best nutritional balance of protein, but all of those efforts are exhausting. You are the one who knows your children the best, so you should be the one who knows exactly what advice you need to follow. There are a lot of experts out there and probably too much advice that is somehow impossible to follow. Your gut may be telling you that your kids would be better off by doing something else. Fortunately, your gut is always “right”. Even specialists claim that parents who are not afraid to listen to their instincts in the decision-making process feel liberated and a lot more relieved.

Embrace Change

One of the most important lessons that you need to learn as a parent is the fact that kids get bored of certain activities, just like adults do. When they do that, parents are quick to assume that there is something wrong with their kids. Nonetheless, this is normal. Instead of being worried that your kids don’t like playing with a certain toy anymore or that they don’t like some kind of activity that they used to, it would be a good idea to evolve right along with them. Remember that kids don’t only grow on the outside they also grow and develop on the inside.

In conclusion, it is important to emphasize that parents need to become better individuals and watch every move they make when they are around their kids. As patience does not seem to work all the time, you need to manage your emotions first and only after that expect them to manage their own emotions.

Practical Ways to Make More Time for Your Family as a Working Parent

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Family time is something that’s vital to your happiness and bond of relationships. However, it can be hard to find the time to spend with the ones you love. Whether you like it or not, you’ve got to work, manage the home, and take care of other responsibilities that you may have on your plate. Unfortunately, this means that with the little time you have left, you often want to rest or catch up on work or other things. Instead of trying to carve significant chunks of time out to spend with your family, why not find ways to incorporate it into your daily schedule instead? It could mean learning to do more of your daily activities together as a family as opposed to alone so that you get to bond on a daily basis. In this light, this article is going to explore five practical ways that you can make more time for your family as a working parent.

Help the Kids With Their Homework

After a long day at work, one of your first thoughts may be to simply crash on the sofa. However, if you do this five days out of the week, then you may have little time to spend with your kids on weekdays. Why not consider taking turns with your partner and doing their homework with them as a way to get a little bit of quality time? As they say, it is the little things that count, so showing your kids that you care about them as well as their education is a way to make them feel both supported and loved. Just in case you need some tips on doing homework with your kids, some include knowing the teachers and what they’re looking for, and setting up a homework-friendly area. You should aim to schedule regular study time which should ideally be after work once you’ve settled in, motivate and monitor your child’s work, as well as praising their help and efforts. You may find that by spending a few hours with them a week on homework, their confidence increases and they excel in school as well.

Plan Romantic Nights in

Sometimes, you can get so wrapped up in looking after the kids and working that you neglect your partner. It is important that you keep that spark alive and create a loving and caring environment where your kids can grow up. For this reason, you should always look for ways to spend time with your partner on a daily basis. It could mean watching your favorite program together before bed, talking about your day while brushing your teeth, washing the dishes together, or simply having a romantic night in once the kids are asleep. Quality time with your partner also doesn’t have to last for hours on end. It could mean having a few hours of intimacy and making them count by trying sex toys, role play, and other things that could liven up your sex life. If you click here, you’ll find a number of toys that could help put you both in the mood after a long day or week of work. A romantic night in as opposed to trying to go out and find a babysitter for the kids is sometimes all that you need.

Have a Family Fun Day Once a Month

Another way to create time for your family in the midst of a busy schedule is to plan a family fun day once a month. Instead of trying to do something on a weekly basis, you can all commit to doing something fun together once a month unfailingly. Doing so also gives you enough time to plan something meaningful that everyone will enjoy as well as remember. If you’re looking for unique ideas of things to do as a family, some include going on a treasure hunt, going on a ride in a hot air balloon, having a picnic in a park or beach or touring your hometown. You can sit down and plan what you’re going to do each month or take turns letting someone organize the monthly activities. It should help you bond as a family as well as give you something to look forward to on a monthly basis.

Cook Dinner Together Some Nights

Some nights, instead of one person cooking dinner alone, why not consider making it a family affair? By doing so, it is a chance for everyone to be in one place at the same time and spend time together after a busy day. This time is also a chance to teach your children good habits such as healthy eating, helping out with household responsibilities, and cleaning up. You could allocate different chores such as getting someone to cut the vegetables, another to set the table and somebody else to wash the dishes. It is also a chance for you to talk, laugh, and enjoy one another’s company while learning new things about each other in the process.

Exercise Together

Developing positive habits as a family is also a way to spend quality time together. For instance, you could begin working out early in the morning before work and the school run to get you energized and set off on a good day. Family workouts can strengthen both bodies and bonds in a number of ways with keeping your bodies healthy and working together to ensure being at the top of the list. When exercising you should try and focus on pushing movement, squatting movement, hinging movement, and then cool down by stretching. These workouts don’t have to be longer than thirty minutes, and you could stick to doing it once or twice a week.

Making time for your family often requires you to sacrifice, which could mean leaving work a little early, not having that extra hour to yourself some days, or learning to share your time with your family by doing things together. You should remember, however, that family bonds aren’t built overnight, and you have to put in work in order to get the results that you want. Hopefully, next time you’re struggling to make time for your loved ones, you can refer to this article and remember that there are enough hours in a day to spend with family no matter how busy you are.

Traditional Birthday Gifts That Kids Still Love

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Technology has changed the world completely in the last two decades, and the pace of innovation shows no signs of slowing down. It’s also true that today’s children are very different to those of previous generations, because they are much more tech savvy. These two facts don’t mean that modern children don’t appreciate traditional gifts, however, as here are three birthday gifts that will be as welcome today as they were to their parents and grandparents.

Wooden Puzzles

Children have always loved solving puzzles, and it’s an activity that should certainly be encouraged as   they can play a vital role in a child’s cognitive and educational development. Of course, there are many excellent puzzle games that can now be played online or via a mobile phone app, but children still enjoy traditional puzzles with a much longer history. Jigsaws, for example, will still prove popular with children, especially if the target picture relates to a subject they’re interested in. One great advantage of completing a physical jigsaw puzzle, as opposed to a computerized version, is that parents and children can play at it together, picking up pieces and comparing them side by side until the correct match is found.

Building Blocks

When you were young, did you love playing with building blocks? The magic of them is that they allow your imagination to run riot, and a humble set of colored blocks can soon become so much more. In recent years, building blocks have seen a huge resurgence and leading the way is the market leader Lego. So popular has Lego become that it has spawned a hit series of movies that children and adults alike love, and has been named recently as the world’s favorite brand. The sets may have become more sophisticated, and many of them now have tie ins to movie franchises, but the premise is still the same: slot bricks together until you have created something wonderful. A simple idea, but one that is proving timeless and will surely do so for generations to come as well.

Birthday Cakes

One children’s birthday essential that will never go out of fashion is the birthday cake. It’s important to ensure that our kids have a healthy, balanced diet of course, but on this one day a year we can allow them to enjoy a treat that’s a little more sugar laden than they may be used to. Chocolate cakes come in all shapes, sizes and flavors, so it’s easy to find one that’s ideally suited to your child’s tastes, whether that means a traditional chocolate sponge, or a strawberry gateau. A great cake can be more affordable than you think as well, with specialist websites such as Allcakeprices.com allowing you to find the best cake at the best price.

When we watch our children playing on their mobile phones or games consoles, we can imagine that their lives are very different to how ours once were. Put a wooden puzzle game or a set of building blocks in front of them, or present them with a candle topped birthday cake, however, and you’ll see that they aren’t so different after all.

Family Activities – Tyre Recycling Projects

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Replacing your tyres leaves you with four old tires. Throwing or giving them away is one option, but there are other options, ones that are much more interesting and useful. If you’re the creative type, you’ll know exactly how to recycle your old tyres, but even if you aren’t, there are things you can make from tyres that don’t require any special skills. Plus, if you include your whole family in the project, you’ll get to spend quality time with your children while creating something together.

When and how to replace your tires

Replacing your tyres is the basic thing you need to do for your own and other people’s safety on the road. How often to replace them is determined by your driving habits and tyre maintenance, but also by the state of the roads. It’s important that you inspect the condition of your tyres at least once a month, checking the tread depth, looking out for uneven wear patterns, bulges or blisters on tyre sidewalls, lacerations, flat tyres or tread punctures. It would be best to replace all four tyres at the same time, since it’s important that they all match. You can find a great tyre dealer with a wide selection of premium tyres here. Make sure you go through the vehicle’s manual or talk to a professional before making a purchase, so that you’re properly informed of what exactly to buy. And as soon as you replace the old tyres with the new ones, the fun can begin. Here are some ideas for recycling tyres.

A dog bed

If you have a dog, use a tyre to make a bed for them. It’s an easy project and you can include your children by allowing them to paint and decorate the bed to their own liking. All you need is a used tyre, some paint and a cushion to place in the middle of the tyre, so that your dog is always soft and warm.

A tic-tac-toe table

This is another fun thing to do with your kids and for them at the same time. Use an old tyre, paint it the colour you and your children like and shape a wooden board to fit the centre of the tyre. Draw a hash and, instead of X’s and O’s, pick some stones of approximately the same size and use some paint to turn them into bees and ladybirds, or simply paint them two different colours. Let it dry and play a game or two with your little ones.

Garden chairs

These will go great with your new tic-tac-toe table. All you need are two (or more) tyres, two types of rope, glue and some patience. If your children help you with this one, pay extra attention to how they use the glue. You don’t want their delicate little hands glued to the tyre, or the rope at the end of the day.

Rocking chairs

Turning old tyres into little rocking chairs for your kids is a simple task, but a very rewarding one, since they’ll probably love them and spend a lot of time on them. Cut a tyre in half, paint it, cover it with a wooden plank and add a handlebar. Instead of a classic handlebar, you can turn it into an animal head, to make the rocking chair even more appealing to your children.

Tyre swings

You have an old tree in your backyard? Perfect. Find a stable branch and hang one or two old tyres on it using some rope. Of course, you get to decorate the tyres, or better yet, your children do. Make them nice and colourful, so that they make your kids cheerful as soon as they look at them. After only a few minutes on the swing, your child’s mood is bound to improve, so be prepared for some joyful giggles.

A sandbox

When it comes to this particular project, the bigger the tyre, the better. Paint it, find a nice place to it in your garden, fill it with sand, stick a parasol in the middle to protect your children from the sun, and that’s all. Let them bring their little shovels and other plastic tools for hours of carefree play.

A seesaw

This is a perfect project for families with two or more children. If you build a seesaw, two children can play on it at the same time, avoiding an argument over who wants to go first. Use half a tyre, a long wooden plank and two handholds for each end of the plank. Pick a colour, or pick as many as you want, sit back and relax while your children play.

Flower pots

There’s nothing as easy as turning used tyres into flower pots. Simply fill the centre of the tyre with some dirt and fertilizer and plant whatever you choose inside it. Leaving the tires black is an option, but why do that, when you can colour them, or even place them one on top of another to make a Minion, a frog, or even a well.

These recycling projects can be a lot of cost-free fun. They can turn your garden into a beautiful and fun place for your whole family. So, start today and make some wonderful memories in the process.